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“Living Situation, Part 3 — Living in an Apartment Post-Grandmother”

At the point when my grandfather had pretty much recovered from his heart surgery, I got a call from one of my best friends from film school – Friend: “Yo Josh, a couple of buddies and I have an...

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“The Most Unfortunate High School Headline”

They used to print a weekly paper at my high school, and every Friday, Rachel Furbush would write a restaurant review for the section she titled, “Eating with Furbush.”  Swear to God, the tagline was,...

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“Re: Tourette’s”

Do you think anyone has nice Tourette’s?  Walking around, like – Man with Tourette’s: “I love you!” {then} “You look stunning in that dress!” {then} “I’ll do the dishes tonight!” {then} “DANDELIONS!!!”

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“People With Hard Pasts Lead Easier Lives”

I feel like I’m losing out on a lot of opportunities because my life isn’t bad enough.  You know what I mean?  ‘Cause I know a lot of people who had rough childhoods that are using that to get...

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“Sex Change”

Do you think anyone’s ever had a sex change only to wake up the next morning to realize that wasn’t the problem?  Like – Post-op: “Ooooooohh, I just don’t like my apartment.  …  Shit.” OR: Post-op:...

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“Where Do Rabies Come From?”

When I was really little, I asked my mom were babies came from, and — having misheard me — she said, “A dog bite.” So for months, I became afraid of our dog Clancy — because I did NOT want to be...

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“Upcoming Movies”

Do you know they’re making a Beatles zombie movie called Paul is Undead?  And Natalie Portman is going to star in another movie called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?  Oh, and they’re making Abraham...

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“You Too”

A friend informed me that comedian Brian Regan already did a comedy routine about a problem that he and I share: saying, “You too” automatically when it’s an inappropriate response.  Nevertheless, here...

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“Mr. Hana on Twitter”

I just bought Japanese food at Mr. Hana restaurant in a food court, and the receipt asked that I follow them on twitter. Why? I understand they might advertise special offers every so often; but other...

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“Most Embarrassing Moment”

I once had to do an assignment in high school about my most embarrassing experience, which is basically a teacher’s way of communicating – Teacher: “Ahhh…I got nothing for ya.” On the day of the...

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